The naked truth.

So i have been talking about nakedness (which is the JIVAMUKTI YOGA Focus of the Month) and taking off the layers all month in class with the students i teach here in Lisbon. I touched base this last week on SATYA, the practice of TRUTH, telling the truth, living the truth, shining a light on the truth and i really feel the need to actually share the TRUTH. Shine a light on what is REALLY happening with me. I am one of the most positive, powerful people on this planet, of that i am sure so i really battle with these feelings of anger, frustration, grief, pain in all of its manifestations. But they are there, that is a fact.

My whole life i have fought for what and who i believed in and i am and always will be utterly committed to my work as an animal rights activist fighting for those who cannot defend themselves. My heart is in that, my whole being is just that. And yet here i am POWERLESS. Without boring you all with details i can tell you this i have travelled the world, lived in many places all over the world, never have i faced such bureaucracy and such total bullshit then here in Portugal. It seriously blows me away everyday. And it makes me sad, it’s such a wonderful place and i have found such love and happiness here, of the kind i thought didn’t even exist. Thank you, Miguel.

It has come to a point that it is actually causing severe suffering and financial distraught (for so long now), i am always tense, i am always stressed, i can hardly breathe and just getting through the day is a battle. What hurts me the most is not the fact that i can’t pay rent or bills, i can live with that, but that i am not a spokesperson for those who need me te most, the animals! I am not cooking, i am not showing people how incredible amazing my food and the plant based life style is. I am not doing what i am supposed to be doing. I have been doing what i do for so long, all over the world, i know what i am worth and this is not it.

So there you go, the naked truth. No layers, no filters.

This too will pass……

I hope.