Papas roots part 1
So we’re getting closer and closer to opening our cafe a project that has taken nearly two years from initiation to realisation. So much has happened in this time. So many events mustered up, so much work done. On an emotional level I feel a massive void, a hole, emptiness. Because the one person who I would want to be there next Saturday when we open our doors, the one person who truly understands the feeling and desire to start all this, to open a cafe of our own, is my dad. His dream was exactly this. His own restaurant. Where he could thrive in the kitchen getting the world to taste his own creations. Roots of Amsterdam is what we both decided to call it. And it’s those roots I feel so deep inside of me. Papas roots. His sudden death, his sudden departure from this world, him leaving his behind way before his time, it feels even more painful now. The incredible loss of not having him present on the day that will change my world forever. So let me start this amazing new journey with my dads roots deeply rooted inside of me, with his love, his pride, his strength, his joy for cooking. Or as Sarah Bettens sings in the song dad, what else do I need I have a dad who’s watching over me. 30th of September 2016
Papas roots part 2
I wrote this last year. And now I’m on my way to Holland to literally plant my papas roots in the form of a plant. My mother and I will plant a tree for my dad this Saturday. So my dad’s roots will keep growing and growing. So his memory will continue to blossom. This is what the card reads with the tree: like this tree you too will keep growing in our heart.
My love for him is like a tree. Strong, steady, surviving any circumstance, no storm or wind too strong, the tree will always keep standing. These roots are unbreakable, this love is forever.
I think this tree planting ceremony is a truly special way of paying our respects. What I like about the idea the most is that it’s so much more a beginning then an end. Graves are so final. There’s nothing left there but a tombstone. For many people that can be a hard place to remember someone at. But then there’s this small forest close to my mothers house where we can go to now, to be with my dad, to watch his roots grow, to see him stand there tall and strong. What a beautiful thought. To have a place to go to to just be with him and to be reminded of his roots that are inside of me also. Foodprintz Cafe is celebrating its 1st birthday in two weeks. It’s been a bit over a year ago that I wrote the first part of this blog and returning to it reminded me of my broken heart. All that’s written above here is what I still truly experience on a daily basis. How wrong it still feels that my maker, my dad is not celebrating this with us. The void I will always feel there. But I know he’s proud. I feel his pride all the time. How far we’ve come Lisa and I with our cafe. I know it makes him incredible proud. He met Lisa, only once, but I’m so happy that he met my partner in crime. He told me he really liked her. My dad used to be a school teacher and secretly he had his “favourites” in his class after meeting Lisa he told me if she would have been in my classes, she would have been my favourite. My dad rarely gave out compliments, so I knew there and then this Lisa was quite something and she is! I love her so much. I love what we build and created from scratch and I love that I’ve been enabled to grow my papa’s roots in a way he would have appreciated so much. In a kitchen. Cooking. Cracking jokes. Entertaining others. Just like he would have done. Whatever I’ve been through with my dad (oh there have been some dark times) I am proud to be his daughter. Proud to continue his roots, his dreams, his visions. My love for him is like a tree. Strong, steady, surviving any circumstance, no storm or wind too strong, the tree will always keep standing. These roots are unbreakable, this love is forever.
15th of November 2017